Ooooh blogger has a new layout thingy!!

Looks nicer now. I might continue blogging!

Let's see now. I have nothing much to say currently.

Maybe next time?

I'm just sitting on my bed and suddenly I realise how useless I am.
I know a lot of things, but I'm good at none.
A jack of all trades, a master of none.

I can earn money, I cannot keep.
I can study, I cannot do well.
I can sing and play the guitar, I cannot perform well.
I can do the housework and cook, I cannot do them well.
I can help my brother with his homework, I cannot teach well.
I can talk a lot, I cannot speak well.
I can give advice, I cannot follow them well.
I can listen, I cannot remember.
I ask people to be happy, I get emotional.

It's just another of those days. I just feel like a burden to everybody. =.=
I'm graduating next Tuesday. My friend on Monday.
I need a job. I need someone there for me. I guess I was too used to somebody being there for me when I need it. I need to grow up. I need to learn. I need more time. Maybe I shouldn't think too much eh?

it's may, and my work in april has ended.
it's one of the most enjoyable experience i ever had.
have made lotsa new friends, most of which i'm keeping and will make the effort to continue being friends.


learnt new things as well. especially about track events. learnt new soft skills as well. will help me in the long run


i really enjoyed working with this bunch of people, this company, this lady boss. i hope they feel the same way too :)


i need to find one day to go to school to collect my graduation gown. yes, i'm graduating. May 25, if you wanna take a picture with me, let me know!

talking about graduation. smu, ntu has sent me rejection letters. not a surprise to me, kinda expected it. but it still hurt. and it came while i was sick and rolling around in bed. awful. next thing in line, work. am looking for a full time job (i know it's not gonna be as fun as the previous one i've worked but i want to make the most out of it). i hope i find one that suits me. i am really picky. and i know that they say "beggars can't be choosers". well. i'm not a beggar, and i jolly well can choose what i want to do.i don't want a job that makes me sit in front of a computer typing random numbers and letters from 9 - 6. i won't learn anything from there.


i want a job that lets me work, and learn at the same time. because i believe that learning never stops (note, i said learning, not studies) try as many things as i can to find out what suits me best :)





and i know i haven't been updating, but if you followed my facebook, twitter and tumblr closely, you will know what's going on in my life ! GO FOLLOW ME NAO!

What's wrong with me?

I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away.



Don't know what has come over me these few days. Been feeling really down. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's my hormones, maybe it's the people, maybe...



I know my recent Facebook statuses have been really emo. But I have no idea why I'm like that. I'm trying very hard to stay happy. But, it is hard. Maybe I'm born to be upset and sad.



Maybe. Now only if there wasn't so much maybes.

My mother's birthday

See!? Told you I'm gonna post pictures of my mum's birthday.

I'm so hardworking :D

The cake we got her from Awfully Chocolate (or something..)

Her with baby number 1 Colee

Celebrated at my Ah Yi's house.

Candle blown out already..

Her with baby 1 & 2 Colee and Deeno

Picture taking

Cut Cake!!

Cutting to smaller pieces to share

Here's what happened that day.

We ignored her for the whole day. Nobody said anything about celebrating her birthday. She only knew that we were gonna buy a cake for her. She called daddy and he didn't know anything (which was true cuz we didn't exactly planned anything with him).

Ah yi called me asking how we were gonna celebrate her birthday. I told her we're gonna get cake from Vivo. She said okay, how about dinner. I went o.O right.. we forgot about dinner. -.-

So she suggested her place, she's gonna order pizza and KFC (the usual..) and invite her over. Nobody is to tell mummy that we were gonna celebrate at her house.

Okay.. so my mum went home after work, left some money for my sis to get dinner for ourselves and waited for my ah yi to fetch her to her house. She was complaining how nobody remembered her birthday, and that nobody cared for her etc.

When we arrived at Ah yi's house (with cakes and babies in full force, daddy even went to fetch grandma to celebrate together!) she was sulking.

I know she's happy but she doesn't show. Maybe she's tired or sth. But I know you're happy :)



HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MUMMY! I LOVE YOU :)

uh-huh. a 2.57 makes no much difference you know?

siblings

i don't know how many posts have i dedicated to my siblings
but tell me. how stupid can your siblings be?             

                  
mine? really stupid.


my brother just decided to throw the newspapers that we put on the floor for the dogs to pee and poo into the toilet bowl. and flushed them down.

tell me. why is it that me and my sister can be so smart and have common sense but my brother who came out the same place we did, be so retarded?


he must've gotten all the recessive genes.



or maybe he's just different, maybe i should see things his way?
no. any other way i see it. nobody in their straight minds will FLUSH NEWSPAPERS DOWN TOILET BOWLS. right?


urgh.

I have been pretty lazy..

no worries.. will be posting pictures from my mum's birthday celebration soon..

I remember when I was in Secondary school, Mass Communication was my only choice.
My grades sucked. but who cares. I liked mcm. and i thought to myself, as long as i do well in o'levels. and i did! i managed to scrape my ass into mcm (only to be disappointed cuz it wasn't what i expected it to be.) nonetheless, i liked it and i've more or less enjoyed my experience here.

now that i've "graduated" the next thing in line is University. once again, my grades sucked. tell me. a cumulative gpa of 2.4 (from 5 semesters) can get me where? if i'm not wrong, even SMU's mass comm wouldn't want me XD (inside joke).

now. SMU is my dream school. don't ask me why.. it's the same as me choosing np's mcm. i just like it. the school's environment is good as well. cca's are quite interesting too :) sociology is what i wanna do. average gpa to get in? 3.4.

well done enping, enyi, felicia (identity crisis at the age of 20. please forgive me). now tell me, is there like a big exam thing u can TRY to do well in to scrape your ass into smu? NO. :)

just hope and pray really hard that your final semester is good enough. then again, to go up by a whole point is not easy. maybe you're just fated to marry a rich guy =D



speaking of marriages. i was just thinking about it this weekend. actually getting married and having kids are not entirely scary. it can be quite good if you want it to.
unfortunately. i still think that it is too expensive to live in singapore (though it's safe and clean and stuff.....) and that the pressure is too high. i think you know where i'm heading to from here. (education, for those who don't =.=)


see!? everything links to one another. and it's sad.
singaporeans are just borne to study, compete, work, compete and compete. it is not easy. nobody said it was. :(








P.S. kids these days are bloody spoiled and pampered. they'll grow up to be wimps.
baby wimps to teenage wimps. teenage wimps to adult wimps. adult wimps to old wimps. old wimps to dead wimps. =D nice.

new blog maybe?

Remember how I said that I was bored with blogger?
Well, I've set up another "blog" thingy.
http://p3ckyz.tumblr.com/
Please visit it and show some love.

Thing I like about tumblr is that you cannot comment (and yes though I love the attention, I would sometimes prefer that ppl not ask me what's going on. Because most of the time, I wouldn't know how to answer. )

I would be posting pictures regularly and random thoughts that I might have.
Of course, longer rants and issues would still be posted here.
If I want to complain and write and essay, you wouldn't find it in tumblr.



So let me know which one's better?
But I'm fickle minded. I might just have both. :)

i have this sudden urge to get married and have kids.
i wanna get out of this place.
out of the house.
:(



i really need to stop being emo.

感动。 :)

Went to develop my negatives yesterday.



Had lots of fun :) Almost forgotten the joy I had while developing my film, waiting and anticipating that all will turn out right and fine.

But the negative didn’t turn out as well as I liked it to be. I think D76 developer got contaminated or sth. Screw the Mass Comm students who were rushing assignments the previous day, USED UP ALL THE FUCKING CHEMICALS! MADE A MESS OF MY FAVOURITE COUNTER. KNS.



After that went back to Harbourfront to have dinner (yes I went in the late afternoon. Finished everything at about 5.30pm). Had beef noodles, not fantastic. bleah.

Then I had a birthday party to go to (damn busy hor). At Pasir Ris =.=


Was supposed to go alone cuz my family decided to pang seh me. (It was the birthday of a long time friend, if I’m not wrong, we were friends for 19 years? I’m 20 this year.) But guess what!?


有一个大好人陪我去！Even though he didn’t know who the birthday boy was. He only knew me. (I only knew the birthday boy and his parents anyway. I would be equally left out)


But thanks for accompanying me :)
So 感动 leh..

i'm getting bored of blogger.

New post

When i reach my friend's blog, i get irritated when they don't update.
In fact, i get irritated whenever somebody doesn't update.
But guess what?
I don't update that regularly as well.. XD


So anyway, i've changed my background image cuz i got sick of denim.
i think it looks better now =D


CNY is almost over (or rather, no more ang baos to take) and guess what?
i went shopping with my sister. off to bugis~


spent over 140dollars.
on clothes.
we are crazy.

oh. no.
she's the crazy one.
everything also "nice! buy! looks good on you wat!"
=.=

but i enjoyed the day out with her =D





and i never cease to amaze myself.
or some reasons that i'll keep to myself. just because i wanna act mysterious XD



am addicted to this new taiwan drama 就想赖着你 by jerry yan and ella.
and ohmygawd. jerry is so handsome!!!
wonder if i could find someone as good looking as him, as well-built as him (ohmygawd, if you saw his body you would go @.@ too)
but i highly doubt so.
bleah.



go watch it if you have the time.
it's pretty entertaining.
love the song by liu li yang too.

终于可以在今天划上句点
一整夜翻开过去画面
快想不起我们为何会诀别
只看到那双你送的鞋
走一步又一步
我才发现转了个圈
走了好几年又回到原点
你送的礼物会不会太特别
毫不避讳那不安的传言
但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉
难道你早想让我走远
你送的礼物在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆把过往走一遍
穿了这些年难免会有淤点
就像每段爱总会有终点

Nus application

Me thinks nus is a joke. Tell me. U put the deadline for collecting documents on a sunday.Singapore post don't post mails on saturdays and sundays. Doesn't this mean that ur deadline is actually on a friday? Then you might as well put the datr as a friday instead of a sunday and letting people like me have the hope that we still have 2 days to mail our stuff.

ok.. Well maybe it IS my own faukt for not checking properly.. Whatever then. I don't think i could get in anyway, i have shitty grades.

i will work harder for smu and ntu. I like them more anyway....

(en yi. Stop giving yourself excuses..)

sorry it's too early.. I might not make sense.. But whatever.

Nice sign.

Saw this on the bus to sengkang. Din know that u needed a sign to let people know that it is against the law to hit other people. What has singapore become?

My mind

I wonder.

Can I speak my mind?

Happy Chinese New Year

to all..

And collect many many ang pows!!

Alright. It's been 4 days after my birthday.

It's been loads of fun. =D
Wanna say thank you to all my friends who have been there to celebrate the big 2o.
I guess I was just going through a phase, with work suddenly growing and issues going on in my own head (I must be crazy..)..

I just need to start looking at the positive side again.
But....
I get more attention when I'm emo.. XD
Should I continue to be emo?


Okay.. Maybe not..
I didn't like the feeling of being emo.
Besides, I wanna make people happy.
I woudn't want my friends and family to keep worrying about me.
They have enough to worry about already anyway..








By the way.
I am officially broke.
And I mean really broke. Zilch. Nothing. Zero.
Or rather... Negative.. LOL...


I either need to start looking for a job or start finding a sugar daddy.

But I get grossed out looking at old man with young girls.
I mean WTH?
That guy you're holding hands with is old enough to be your father.
Why would you wanna "date" him?


Oh well...
I guess is work then.. But I have commitments in school! =..=
Should I just leave them to die? =D




Oh.. But I'm not that irresponsible..








Gonna go shopping with my sister later!
Using my mum's money.
Cuz she wants us to help her buy clothes.
Speaking of which.. I haven't exactly finish my CNY shopping..
WEE!! RETAIL THERAPY HERE I COME!

Relationship.

Know your goals first before finding yourself a partner. Find someone compatible rather than someone you want to be perfect. Review on your relationship often to know if the current one is the right one, and/or is on the right track to your goals.

My birthday

It is that time of the year again.

My birthday ..

I used to be all excited about it. cuz it means I get presents, wishes and great company.

But I grow older each year.

I think differently each year.

And suddenly, it doesn't feel so significant anymore.

Right now, I just want to get it over and done with.

What happened to the "Happy" in "Happy Birthday"?

As people grow older, do they not find birthdays happy anymore?

Are we supposed to feel like that?

As we mature, are we supposed to remove happiness in everything?

As we grow up, are we supposed to be serious and think of the serious things (money, job, marriage partners...)

When I was younger, all I thought about was games, friends and the occasional stress on homework.

All these changed when my age became 2 digits.

Even then, I tried to think positive.

I tried to remain happy.

Besides, things couldn't get any worse right?






Wrong.

As the front number of my age becomes bigger, the back number changes rapidly, my feelings and thoughts change and evolve just as fast.

I wish time would stop.

Stop when I was the happiest, the most innocent, the most naive.

But I doubt it will stop.

Time is cruel like that. It doesn't stop for anybody. You lose it, it's your problem.

Once it's gone, it's gone. You're never gonna get it back.





Right now, I just wish time would fast forward.

Till the day I die.

Then I wouldn't have all these feelings inside.

Anyway, last day of internship is tomorrow.

Application for Universities has started.

NUS ends 21 Feb, NTU ends 28 Feb, SMU ends 8 Apr.

My grades sucks. I guess I wouldn't get into any Universities.

Besides, who would want someone with borderline grades like me?

Everybody is so superficial. Only looking at grades, papers, qualifications.

Without those, you are nothing.

You are just worthy of cleaning the streets for the "smarter" people.

Well.. If they are so smart, I believe they can clean up after themselves.

Then we don't have to hire cleaners.





I keep going off tangent.

But I'm writing what I'm thinking.

I have random thoughts don't I?

LOL

Untitled

I can now use my phone to update my blog!!happy.. Haha might be spamming it these few days just to try it out..

Testing...

Testing...

PSS's birthday.

Saw this on some one's blog.
Thinks it makes a lot of sense.

don't run away from what your heart is feeling
be strong face what you're afraid of
come on, show em what you're made of
I know its hard when your hope is gone
but you gotta keep holding on

This saturday is Poh Sheng Sheng's 21st birthday..
God how time flies.

Anyway, I thought of a very excellent way to celebrate his birthday!
He will have the best birthday in the world!!

I'm gonna dig out some dresses (hopefully they fit..)
And a pair of heels... (that obviously is gonna be thrown away cuz his feet are too big)
AND MAKE HIM DANCE!
(If he dun wanna wear the dress also can but I wanna make him dance.!)


Gave him a few choices of songs -
Wondergirls Nobody
SNSD Gee
SNSD Oh


So let's see what he chooses..

It's either this or using duct tape to remove his hair.
Leg hair, eyebrow, armpit hair, stomach hair etc..
LOL!!


Tag if you like my idea =D

My Name!

HELLO EVERYBODY!
My name is Felicia Chan En Yi.
Pleased to meet you!



大家好！
我的名字是 Felicia 曾恩億。
很高興認識你



こんにちわ　私は　Felicia Chan En Yi です。
よろしくおねがいします。



Je suis Felicia Chan En Yi.

The future?

What lies in the future no one knows.
I do know one thing though.
I wouldn't get married. Much less have kids.
I just don't see myself as a wife or as a parent.


But then again, who knows what will happen in the future?
Maybe some guy can come around and change me?
=X

Should I leave my blog background white?

Sick again?

I just wanna get through internship once and for all.
I don't wanna keep falling sick.
I don't even wanna know why I keep falling sick.
I don't wanna think about it.
I need loud music to keep me away from the real world..
Been turning to my headphones for that.
It sounds really good with my iTunes.
Not very well with any other things.. =.=
Even with the equaliser formatted
Damn sad.






I don't wanna be emo sia.. hahaha
I like being happy.
Please return the happy En Ping back
/prays really hard.
XD



Maybe I'm just getting old. lol..

Random Thoughts

Sometimes it's kinda nice sitting in the office alone.
Nobody to bug you, nobody to breathe down your back to tell you that you have to do this, do that...

My dogs are feeling sick.. Poor things..




I wonder if anybody actually reads my blog.
I know for certain a few do.
It's getting a little quiet though.
Everytime I check back, I see that same tags.
There are no comments.
No new tags.
Makes me feel as if nobody really cares about what I write.
Makes me think that they read just cuz it's there.
And I'm important enough for them to remember that I have a blog.









This is the kinda day when I wish that I do not exist.
In fact, everyday I ask myself "why am I here? what am I put on Earth for?"
And usually, I don't have the answer.
I just thought of one though.
I'm here to make people happy, to make people cry, to make people angry.
To make people know that they are human and can feel for one another.
Because I think as a human being, that is one of the basic things we do for each other.
To let people feel.
A person who doesn't feel, is not human.
Right?

New Skin

And yes... as you can see, I've changed my blogskin again.
I got sick of the older one.
I got the base code from Yummylolly.com and made it entirely my own.

This was what it looked like before I killed it.

Aren't I awesome?


Am currently writhing in pain due to my abnormal stomach cramps.
And listening to a group of little girls singing in my iTunes...........

Oh how wonderful..
Internship is ending in another 3 weeks time.
Last day of work is my birthday. Oh how wonderful


I do hope that I can spend my birthday without any hiccups, quarrels or anything to make me feel sad, bad, angry etc.
It is afterall, my 20th birthday.

Maybe it's not such a big deal but hey, you turn 20 only once in your life.
And I'm nearing my ideal age, 21..
So next time, when anybody ask me "How old are you?" My answer will be "I'm always 21!" :)


I got this email awhile back, and Chloe has sent it to me again. I think it makes a lot of sense.

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.



You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21.. Even the words sound like a ceremony.YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!



But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.. What's wrong? What's changed?


You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone...
But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and make it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into ! your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'


Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!


HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is family name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

Life's journey is not to
arrive at the grave safely
in a well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways,totally worn out, shouting
'..holy shit ....what a ride!!

Isn't it nice? We should all tell the people we love how much we love them... I could suddenly tell my friends "Hey you're my friend and I thank you for that :)"
Wouldn't that be nice?

If only the world was that nice. There wouldn't be war now, would there? :D

new phone

I need a new phone...

I want this.





InQ Chat 3G.. Only available in Singtel stores..


I also want this.



Samsung Corby Pro. Not out in Singapore yet



GAHH..... Chio right? I like the red colour .. But then again, the white very nice also.. sigh...




On the brighter side, Taiwan trip is coming!! wee!!
If you want something let me know.. I'll try to get it for you..


OH!! Before that, it's admissions to Universities. I highly doubt I'm able to get into one but I'll try anyway.. With my new name :)

I'll be getting my new name in 2 weeks time.. am quite excited about it.. Hopefully everything can be settled legally before the end of my University application period.. If not, I'll have to wait another year before I can apply again.. Then I'll have to go work..

I don't mind though.. Only thing is that I cannot look for jobs. Whatever I find, don't wanna hire me.. No matter how good my resume is.. so... I guess I have to wait and see ba...


Feels weird to be single again but I know it's for the better :) And I'm glad we're still friends. :)

Tired of everything.

Open house was alright... There wasn't many interested parties.. should've predicted it anyway.


am definitely feeling very very tired.. the 'tired-est' i've felt just 10 days into the new year.
i hope the rest of the year go better than this.

internship is ending in another 4 weeks time. last day of work is on my birthday.
not sure if i should rejoice.
not even sure whether i'm gonna celebrate.
just feel so old and tired that celebrations are, to me, nth more than just a waste of time, energy and money.

emo emo emo..

lol...

i need sth sweet.
to give me sugar rush and maybe, just maybe, i'll be myself again. :)

NP Open House

Woo!! Open House tmr..
am actually quite excited! I hope we can get more students to come for the conference.
moolah!! Here I come!!